the grey sisters

• messy relationships; unhealthy aspects of relationships not being brushed over (but the characters also not trying to fix them); relationships that by modern western standards (and maybe the standards of a large portion of the cast) would be considered unacceptable; social mores that don’t match the modern western world, and characters whose social mores don’t match each others’
• “us against the world” narratives; “we were always going to end up here” narratives; “no one understands you like i do” narratives; characters making the best of their situations, not unhappy, but not living Happily Ever After, either
• father/child and sibling incest (portrayed romantically), pseudo-incest between unrelated characters, mentor/protégé relationships and big-p Platonic teacher/student relationships, erastes/eromenos and dominus/deliciae relationships; age difference, size difference, experience difference, power imbalance, underage (adult/minor and minor/minor)
• ideas about sex, sexuality, marriage, gender identity, etc that may differ wildly from our own ideas and between characters; historical or dated constructs of gender/sexuality; arranged marriages considered normal/not inherently abusive
• medical realism and its consequences: persistent and permanent injuries, realistic and semi-realistic recovery, healing magic having limitations (and exploring what those are); not shying away from less pretty parts of sex, pregnancy, birth, or having a body in general
• emphasis on character voice, characterization, motive, morals, ethics; culture clash; worldbuilding (especially specific medical and legal worldbuilding); character studies; unreliable narrators; limited POVs, outsider POVs, POVs missing context that would recontextualize events considerably
• feel free to look at our unconventional fanworks exchange letter for weird format likes!

• romance: established relationships, courting, letter-writing, wedding plans, elopement, family planning; helping pregnant partner give birth, being stuck anxiously/excitedly in the waiting room while pregnant partner gives birth
• domesticity: dancing together, playing instruments together/performing duets, doing arts and crafts together, playing chess together, doing tarot spreads, cooking together, helping each other dress or do makeup; tired mornings and late nights, not putting on airs for each other
• slice of life: teaching partner how to dance/play an instrument/draw/paint/cook/play chess/etc; taking turns with household responsibilities (chores, childcare, etc); new/first time parents trying their best and maybe doing an okay job of it; (consensual and appropriate) public displays of affection, between lovers or friends
• emotionally significant friendships and close friends/confidants; characters having people they can/do go to other than their lover (friends or supportive family); close relationships between female characters and an emphasis on the friendships of female characters; positive sibling relationships and mother/child relationships

• consent issues: noncon (where requested), dubcon, consensual but a bad idea, consensual but it shouldn’t be, and messy/unclear combinations of several of these; power/experience/age imbalances; somnophilia (including comatose characters), necrophilia, and possession
• manipulation: gaslighting, mutual manipulation, seduction, “you’re so mature for your age” and similar ploys; unclear lines between victims and aggressors, victims manipulating their abusers/assailants back; stockholm syndrome, lima syndrome, trauma bonding; chess as a mind game/power play, specifically, and chess moves portrayed as acts of violence between the players
• forced intimacy: playing at domesticity, nonconsensual PDA, nonconsensual kissing, sleeping beside each other/spooning, rapists performing oral, rapists comforting victims, victims forced to comfort rapists
• pain and fear kink: crying/dacryphilia, screaming, uncomfortably detailed loving descriptions of both or either, painful sex, characters in pain kinking on it, characters in pain not kinking on it (their loss!)
• injuries or physical trauma: lovingly described acts of violence (consensual and otherwise), genital trauma or mutilation (perineal tearing, episiotomy, castration, fgm/c, tearing from sex, sharp object insertion), amount of blood/injury exaggerated for kink purposes, eye trauma, broken limbs, internal bleeding, childbirth related injuries and medical complications (symphysiotomy or breaking the pelvis for childbirth, broken clavicle or limbs in newborns, emergency hysterectomy, congenital birth defects, low APGAR, etc), short- and long-term medical care and aftermath of injury, trauma, or disability
• dark pregnancy-related kinks/topics: (threat of) traumatic miscarriage, forced abortion, unsafe abortions (coathangers, ingesting poisons, trying to induce miscarriage through injury to self)
• trouble at home: abusive, controlling, or disapproving (grand)parents, tense home environments, arguments about arranged marriages, inheritance, keeping the baby, childrearing (between parents/children or between coparents or partners)
• harm to children: characters who are underage depicted in fic with appropriate neurological development for their ages and developing trauma appropriate to the events of the canon and/or the fic; child soldiers, CSA victims, etc normalizing what they’ve been through, not having the neurological development to understand the impact of events, not understanding their own feelings, enacting their trauma on other children or adults
• aftermath: of rape or CSA, of abuse, of wartime or other nonsexual trauma, of injury; impact of trauma on mental and physical health; medical treatment, being forced to deal with the authorities, trying to hide trauma or ‘go back to normal’

• oral fixations: smoking, making out, lip biting, hickies, biting in general, finger sucking, cunnilingus, cockwarming, emetophilia (gag reflexes! morning sickness!)
• hand and finger kink: manual stimulation, calluses, pinching breasts, fingering after fucking, weaponizing fingernails, fingers in mouths
• intercrural, incomplete penetration/“just the tip”, eunuchs/castration, soft cock kink, small or soft cock handjobs, sex you might have the impulse to call “sex*” or “sex(?)” - where coming isn’t necessarily the goal, where the people involved may not have bodies in the traditional sense, where the people involved may not have sex drives or even understand what sex is
• marking/possessiveness: bruising, comeplay, breeding kink, postpartum sex (and kinking on the physical affects of childbirth), gaping, somnophilia
• blood and injury: bloody hands, bloody teeth, nosebleeds, tearing from sex or birth, menstrual blood, spotting, episiotomies, postpartum bleeding, amount of blood and injury exaggerated or (bordering) dangerous for kink purposes
• romantic incest kink, dd/lg, sibcon, characters who aren’t related acting like they are for horny reasons; kinking on a character’s youth or presumed youth and physical markers typically associated with it (virginity, flat/small breasts, small cock, etc); kinking on a character’s sexual inexperience (in general, with a specific act, with another character’s gender, etc)
• medfet: take everything from the general likes list about medical accuracy and apply it to pornography! partners being possessively horny at the OB-GYN, nobody but the reader being horny over lovingly detailed descriptions of medical exams, realistic birthing (but being horny about it), weirdly detailed interludes about period birth control methods? you name it, we’re probably into it

• DNW any on-screen, referenced, or implied
  • skin-related mutilation like flaying, burning, or branding
  • harm to animals including meat-eating (just not mentioning what a character is eating is fine)
  • shower/bath/rain sex, one character washing or grooming another non-infant character (even consensual aftercare), or onscreen bathing of any kind
  • petting, brushing, or playing with hair as a form of consensual intimacy (touching or pulling on it during sex is fine; doing someone’s hair without intimate subtext is fine; nonconsensual and threatening is fine)
  • maternal incest or mommykink
  in any capacity. If you think 'surely this isn't enough to count for the DNW', it is.

• unrequested romantic relationships; unrequested rape/non-con; unrequested trans headcanons or rule 63; cis mpreg and futanari
• altered states (drugged, drunk, sex pollen, etc)
• formal BDSM, including safewords or the stoplight system and kink negotiation scenes (sex going wrong and agreeing in the moment not to do something particular again is fine)
• AUs that drastically change the setting or the core rules of the setting (modern AUs, A/B/O, soulmark AUs, etc… canon divergence AUs including pre-canon divergence points are fine; using 3.5 or 5e rules in a BG3 fic is fine)
• “bad ends” (no chance at escape, mindbreak, etc); scat kink (changing a baby’s diaper is fine); onscreen, explicit sexual contact under age 10 (implied or fade to black is fine)

[No Archive Warnings Apply] Arrogant asshole character fucked into submission by Top's incredible skills · Clearly The Fact That We Keep Having Sex Is A Series of Unrelated Bad Decisions · Competence Kink - Rivals Are Incredibly Turned On By Each Other's Talent · Competitiveness in Bed · dubcon - character offers sex to bargain or for a bet; doesn't expect to actually have to pay up · Frenemies with Benefits · Grudging/Horrified One-Sided Attraction to Someone Annoying · Sex As A Match Stipulation · Sex Chicken - 'I won't back down first!' mentality leads to sex · Strip Games

Sooooooooo, maybe it’s just me, but every time one of them mentions that private hotel room six-hour-long blitz match in interviews, the one from when they were 19 and 22 respectively and which Hikaru always calls ‘the worst mistake of [his] career’, I make the vibrating eyeballs emoji from discord in real life. They need to fuck, Your Honor.

Maybe it’s That Night™ (as some of these tags lend themselves to), maybe it’s at any one of the events where they were fighting for #1 and #2, maybe it’s at the FIDE World Fischer Random Chess Championship 2022, where a blundered rook cost Magnus their game on day one! Maybe the Niemann v. Carlsen lawsuit is going on in the background, building pressure or leading to Magnus and Hikaru spending more time talking to each other than usual due to their lawyers collaborating (or dealing with the potential of the discovery process leaking their personal relationship - if you’re insane enough to write this, feel free to play fast and loose with procedure in the name of drama). Maybe you’ve got your mind on something else entirely, PWP or otherwise! I would never seek to unreasonably restrict the creation of Art.

Background Fabi/Cristian is also great, LOL.

Request-specific DNWs: confirmation that any characters, whether part of the ship or no, have cheated in any OTB games unless admitted or proven IRL (other characters believing as much is fine—just no legit photos surfacing of Ding Liren using an engine in the bathroom stall or similar, please!); Carlsen and Nakamura actually engaging in a conspiracy to knowingly falsely accuse Niemann of cheating.

[Rape/Non-con] Character raised to obey male authority figures · Character study through porn · Dirty Talk - Homophobic Dirty Talk · Experience - Non-Penetrative Sex to Preserve Virginity · Foreskin Play · Functionally Meaningless Consent · Greek & Roman Sex Politics · Grooming - Psychological · Masturbation - Character's masturbation is guided/instructed by another · Physical inspection/examination as a show of dominance and control · Victim Honored to Have Aggressor's Attention

Suetonius’ Life of Augustus, 68: “In early youth, he incurred accusations of various disgraces and shameful acts. Sextus Pompey taunted him for his effeminacy; Mark Antony [with the claim] his adoption by his uncle [Caesar] was a reward for submitting to sexual abuse (stuprum); Lucius, brother of Mark Antony, [claimed] that after Caesar plucked [Octavian’s] honor, for 300,000 sesterces he likewise laid down for Aulus Hirtius in Hispania.... Moreover, a bit of wordplay which was universally interpreted by the people as an insult directed at him - and received with the greatest applause - was spoken onstage of a eunuch priest/ess of Magna Mater playing the tambourine: ‘You see how the finger of that catamite beats on his drum/...governs the whole world?’”

Basically: wow, this whole family is fucked up! Tell us about it! Research your little heart out if it pleases you! Straight up porn? Always welcome. Something a little less explicit? Sure! Feeling psychoanalytical and want to tie Caesar and Octavian’s alleged relationship to Augustus’ later…issues, both in and out of the bedroom? Go for it! Maybe Caesar inspected him like a buyer (cf. Sue. Aug. 69) or even *cough* played marbles with the young Octavian (cf. Sue. Aug. 83)! Maybe Caesar was the instigator— maybe Octavian— maybe (if you want to blend historical record and later wholly fictional portrayals) even Atia.

The ‘Foreskin Play’ tag is here regarding penile infibulation, literally using a pin to ensure the foreskin chastely covers the glans. We think it’s hot. Do with this information what you will. The ‘Homophobic Dirty Talk’ tag was selected with Roman-typical derision of free male passivity in mind, not modern attitudes. Think talking about worn-out holes or Caesar touching a young Octavian’s face and calling him ‘my delicate boy’. That vibe. Feel free to ignore the tag entirely if you need to!

Request-specific DNW: modern homophobic slurs, e.g. the f slur, “fairy”, “queer”, etc.

[Rape/Non-con] Character hits head and wakes up in porn movie version of their life · Character raised to obey male authority figures · Dirty Talk - Homophobic Dirty Talk · Fingerfucking - Fucking Partner’s Mouth with Fingers · Fingering After Fucking · Foreskin Play · Functionally Meaningless Consent · Greek & Roman Sex Politics · Grooming - Psychological · Oral - Face-fucking · Physical inspection/examination as a show of dominance and control · Victim Orgasms During Rape and is Ashamed

You’ve seen the Historical RPF version of this request already. You’ll notice the tags on this one are a lot more… penetrative. Look, it’s HBO, and unnecessarily horny clips like the beginning of this scene from Caesar’s triumph changed us irrevocably.

We’re very much willing to play fast and loose with historical accuracy for the sake of horny in this request. If there’s something that’s hard to work around or you just don’t want to bother, that’s totally fine.

As in the Historical RPF request, the ‘Foreskin Play’ tag is here regarding penile infibulation, literally using a pin to ensure the foreskin chastely covers the glans. We think it’s hot. Do with this information what you will. The ‘Homophobic Dirty Talk’ tag was selected with Roman-typical derision of free male passivity in mind, not modern attitudes. Think talking about worn-out holes or Caesar touching a young Octavian’s face and calling him ‘my delicate boy’. That vibe. Feel free to ignore the tag entirely if you need to!

The ‘Character hits head and wakes up in porn movie version of their life’ tag we were envisioning here as actual, real life Octavian hitting his head and waking up in Rome (2005), which we think would be absolutely hilarious. Like, awful for him, I’m sure, don’t get me wrong. But great for us.

Request-specific DNW: modern homophobic slurs, e.g. the f slur, “fairy”, “queer”, etc.

[No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage] "Practice" No-Homo Sex Is Actually Real Feelings Sex · Experience - Inexperienced character asks experienced friend to help them 'practice' · Experience - Non-Penetrative Sex to Preserve Virginity · Increasingly transparent attempts to deny that platonic sex-tutoring is actually just sex · Foreskin Play · Masturbation - Character's masturbation is guided/instructed by another · Sparring or Fighting as Foreplay

Look, the tags on this request speak for themselves, really. Would you believe that there is not a single fic for this ship on AO3? Appalling.

Anyway: playing up the age/experience disparity and the expectation that Pullo teach Octavian how to be a man, and the intensely essentialist ideas that Roman society bakes into what a man is and how he acts. Let Pullo wanna fuck Octavian really, really bad. Let Octavian want to be fucked by Pullo! Can they restrain themselves in the face of temptation that would absolutely destroy Pullo’s life?

Going for more of a rom-com than angst or horror energy here, with the caveat that obviously everyone in this show is at least a little evil and unhinged. Horny logic should ultimately win - whether for you that means lingering on the yearning for the forbidden while much more acceptable things, like frotting and intercrural, or it means they actually go for it. Maybe Octavian has to murder a slave to cover it up, I don’t know. Follow your heart.

For the third time now: the ‘Foreskin Play’ tag is here regarding penile infibulation, literally using a pin to ensure the foreskin chastely covers the glans. We think it’s hot. Do with this information what you will. The underage archive warning has been selected alongside NAWA because Octavian is underage by modern standards, and we absolutely do fetishize pederasty and you should feel very free to do so as well if that is your speed, but the characters themselves don’t have any reason to be like ‘that’s a child!’ and we’re not expecting that. Octavian’s the one running the show here, let’s be real.

Request-specific DNW: Pullo depicted as grooming Octavian or their age difference being predatory.

[Rape/Non-con, Graphic Depictions of Violence] Competence Kink · Consensual But It Shouldn't Be · Danger/Adrenaline Kink · Degrading Praise · Dub/Noncon - Victim Mouths Off and Makes Things Worse for Self · Falsely Gentle Threatening Touches · Fingerfucking - Fucking Partner’s Mouth with Fingers · Incest - Ancestor/Descendant Incest · Injuries - Blood and Injury · Injuries - Wound Fingering · Medical Care/Repairs as Foreplay · Medical Kink - Victim Used As Anatomy/Medical Practice Dummy · Non-Consensual Body Modification · Physical inspection/examination as a show of dominance and control · Robots - Kinking on Cyborg/Robot/AI Partner's Mechanical Body Parts · Sex After Non-Consensual Body Modification · Size - Size Difference · Torture - Torturer and Victim Both Realize They're Getting Off On It

Obviously this ship was built for noncon, and noncon body modification with incredibly sexualized guro, and regular noncon immediately after or during noncon body modification with incredibly sexualized guro. But we also needn’t be limited to just those options. There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see, or however that tweet goes. Karlach was Zariel’s favorite for a decade. Zariel wants her back. Zariel always fought on the front lines of the Blood War alongside her soldiers. Alongside Karlach.

Zariel is also ten feet tall and has claws and a flail replacing one hand and there’s so many horny options here in so many different flavors. We haven’t even touched on the incest yet. The incest really adds something, I gotta tell ya.

We haven’t played/read Descent Into Avernus yet so it’s totally fine if you haven’t. If you have, follow your heart, we don’t mind spoilers.

[No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-con] Character study through porn · Clearly The Fact That We Keep Having Sex Is A Series of Unrelated Bad Decisions · Characters Turned on By Murder · Competence Kink · Competitiveness in Bed · Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane · Dubcon - Repeated DubCon as Part of a Cat & Mouse Game Between Rivals · Falsely Gentle Threatening Touches · Robots - Kinking on Cyborg/Robot/AI Partner's Mechanical Body Parts

Okay. Look. Yes, Karlach says she never fucked anyone in Avernus. However, personally, if I had been fucking the woman who sent my new friend/maybe boyfriend to kill me and then noncon TF’d him into a devil to punish him for not doing that. I would probably lie. For his sake, really.

Anyway, we don’t know why Mizora sent Wyll to kill Karlach (it wasn’t because she’d escaped, because she hadn’t actually done that yet when Wyll was first sent after her), and we’ve chosen to believe, in the absence of any major evidence to the contrary, it’s because they had a bad breakup and Mizora is a sore loser. We know they knew each other in the hells, and when you sleep with Mizora while romancing Karlach, Mizora offers Karlach a turn. Is there anything else I need to say to convince you?

Morally dubious Karlach is great here - remember, this is a woman who will gladly eat souls for a pick-me-up and threatens to kill you if you stop letting her do that. She can be a little fucked up, as a treat. Maybe there’s some jealousy or competitiveness vying for Zariel’s attention wrapped up in all of this, maybe Mizora was someone Karlach once trusted (or as close as you can get to trusting someone in Avernus) and there’s some deeper personal betrayal going on. Maybe it’s just no-thoughts-only-horny PWP. Up to you!

Background/implied Mizora/Wyll and whatever her relationships are like with her warlocks generally is fine, as is background Karlach/Zariel!

[No Archive Warnings Apply] Mutual Masturbation With Intent to Watch Each Other in Lieu of First Time Sex · Characters mutually pining finally get together and have amazing sex · C overhears A/B discussing a fantasy involving them · Dancing as Foreplay · Monstrous transformation does not get in the way of a relationship - it makes things better · Talked to Orgasm · Touch-starved character overwhelmed from seemingly innocent touches · Kiss - CPR Turns Into Kissing · Kiss - "We Lived" Kiss Reveals Feelings · Polyamory - Character in v-shaped relationship gets their lovers together · Threesome - A/B have sex while C watches · Threesome - Established Couple Seducing Third Character

This is the cute one. Wyll is very sweet and doesn’t have a murder kink and he’s a good partner who spurs his loved ones on to generally make good choices. Thank goodness someone here is, huh?

A lot of these tags speak for themselves! Some probably require further explanation. As for the ‘Monstrous transformation…’ tag: Wyll obviously has some (very understandable) body dysphoria due to being turned into a devil! He should get to see some positives too! Whether that’s just how sexy both Karlach and Astarion think his horns are or some fun with the “bumps and prongs in unmentionable places”, ahem. Related to that link, “C overhears A/B discussing a fantasy involving them”... well.

On the CPR tag: look. Does CPR break ribs? Yes. Can that be sexy? Yes, if you’re not a coward. Should Wyll’s ribs get broken and then he gets kissed better? Yes. Yes they should. And thank god someone in this ship has a working heart.

A/B while C watches could be Karlach/Wyll with Astarion watching, or if you can pull off Wyll having sex before Karlach’s heart is fixed maybe she’s the one watching. We aren’t super picky. We ship these three in every iteration. Live your truth. If post-game: we’re very fond of the crew in Avernus, but if you have another resolution in mind that doesn’t go against DNWs, go for it!

If filling Karlach/Wyll: background flirting with or crushing on Astarion by either or both is welcome, as is combining this prompt with the one below. For either ship in this request: past/referenced Mizora/Wyll, Karlach/Mizora, Karlach/Zariel, Astarion/Cazador and/or Astarion/various is fine.

Request-specific DNWs: Tav or Durge; Ascended Astarion or mindflayer Karlach; Astarion’s issues with sex and intimacy resolved by either Cazador’s death or True Love (him pretending they are and hurting himself in the process is fine)

[No Archive Warnings Apply] Characters Turned on By Murder · Competence Kink · Danger/Adrenaline Kink · Dubcon sexual relationship develops feelings · Faking Reciprocated Interest to Make Other Character Happy · Fisting with a semi-corporeal hand · Licking Blood off Partner's Face · Masturbation - Character's masturbation is guided/instructed by another · Mutual Masturbation With Intent to Watch Each Other in Lieu of First Time Sex · Sex While Covered In The Blood of Their Enemies · Soft Cock · Talked to Orgasm · Touch-starved character overwhelmed from seemingly innocent touches

We love these two a lot. They have so much in common! Siding with Karlach is the first ‘good’ action that gets you Astarion approval in the game! All of the dialogue they have about each other is incredibly fond and their romance arcs with each other are fantastic! Sometimes I think about them holding hands and I tear up.

Anyway. They’re also murder-horny little freaks who eat people (or, well, souls, in Karlach’s case. See above in the Karlach/Mizora section for more on our opinions about Karlach and morality), and we deserve to see them be murder-horny little freaks in love.

Wanna do Act 1/early Act 2 stuff before Karlach’s heart is fixed with guided masturbation and/or Astarion’s Mage Hand (which in 5e base rules is immune to fire damage)? Hell yeah. Fisting like the tag says is great, and fingering is only not here because we forgot to nominate it—whoops! Wanna do something later on with, like, cuddling and tenderness (while maybe still being a little unhinged)? Love it. Every time on Karlach origin we’d run up to Astarion to check if he has dialogue and they’d be sighing over how beautiful the other was and both of them were always just completely soaked in blood, it was great. You can really lean into that.

The ‘Soft Cock’ tag is here because, look, first of all, we have a fetish, and secondly Astarion is a food-insecure vampire. Surely there are occasions, many of them, especially in Act 2 where almost everything is undead, where Astarion doesn’t have enough blood in his body to have an erection. I cannot overemphasize how you can absolutely not go too far with this one. Hell, the Act 2 dialogue with Raphael explaining Ascension arguably supports the idea that vampires can’t get hard at all no matter how well fed they are (“the arousals and appetites of man will return to him”).

On the dubcon and ‘Faking Reciprocated Interest…’ tags: emphasis there on the ‘catching feelings’, like… we do very much endgame ship them, but that doesn’t mean the road there isn’t rocky, and faking reciprocated sexual interest while not faking reciprocated romantic interest is a mess and a half that would be a lot of fun to explore.

Background flirting with or crushing on Wyll by either or both of them is fine, as is combining this prompt with the prompt above. Past/referenced Karlach/Mizora, Karlach/Zariel, Astarion/Cazador, and Astarion/various is all fine.

Request-specific DNWs: Tav or Durge; Ascended Astarion or mindflayer Karlach; Astarion’s issues with sex and intimacy resolved by either Cazador’s death or True Love (him pretending they are and hurting himself in the process is fine)

[Rape/Non-con] Character study through porn · Degrading Praise · Dream sex resulting in real orgasm · Falsely Gentle Threatening Touches · Fingering After Fucking · Injuries - Wound Fingering · Mind Control - Victim Can Still Think And/Or Talk But Can't Control Their Body · Physical inspection/examination as a show of dominance and control · Place - Sex In A Graveyard · Sex After Non-Consensual Body Modification · Sloppy Seconds · Soft Cock

The obligatory vampire incest prompt—and please feel very free to emphasize the incest/pseudocest angle.

Pre-canon? So many options, including Cazador fucking Astarion on his grave, which is certainly the only reason I can fathom why Astarion later propositions the player there. Mid-canon? Imagine the horror of Astarion reliving a memory in trance while in camp and coming back to himself having spent himself! Or something set after a successful kidnapping, I don’t know. Go wild, be creative. Hell, set it before Astarion was even murdered. We’re not at all married to the whole ‘magistrate randomly murdered by monster hunters while a vampire lord just so happened to be nearby’ thing. Literally every part of that could be a lie if you felt so inclined.

On the ‘Soft Cock’ tag, as explained in the prompt above as well: Raphael’s explanation of Ascension arguably implies that vampires are on the whole physiologically incapable of having erections, and that’s super hot, but so is the good old fashioned trope where they can get hard if they’re well-fed. Which… Cazador is, but Astarion generally isn’t. Maybe never. Unless Cazador specifically wants him to be. Ahem.

‘Sloppy Seconds’ probably speaks for itself, but you can throw that ‘Fingering After Fucking’ tag at the exact same scenario if you want! Nobody said that the person doing the fingering and the person doing the fucking had to be the same.

Background/referenced Cazador/Vellioth, Astarion/various, or any variety of ships you can construct among Cazador and his children is fine; if writing something set mid-canon, background Astarion/Karlach or Astarion/Wyll or the three of them together is also fine.

Request-specific DNW waiver: it’s okay to mention Astarion feeding on rats, just please don’t focus on it.

Request-specific DNWs: Tav or Durge; Ascended Astarion; Astarion’s issues with sex and intimacy resolved by either Cazador’s death or True Love (him pretending they are and hurting himself in the process is fine)